January 16, 2013

Recipe for Imperfect Parenting

My personal recipe for imperfect parenting:

1 cup of laziness   "I don't know you figure it out"
2 cups of lies   "you sing beautifully, keep it up"
1/2 cup of empty threats   "every bite on that plate or Santa takes back his gifts"
3/4 cup of sarcasm   "you're right, you know everything -4 isn't too cold for a skirt, go for it"
Another 1/2 cup of laziness   "I'm watching my show, you sound the letters out"
1 cup of fake sympathy   "are you okay? you know after you fell during a jump from one couch to the other"
3 tbsp of forced affection   "they cut me open for you, I want a hug damn it"
2 tbsp of giving in   "5 more minutes then it's definitely bedtime"
3 tsp of repetition   "stop grabbing his collar... Stop grabbing his collar"
1 tsp of giving up   "hey she's finally out... Wink wink." "I'm tired now." "yeah me too"
And pinch of acceptance   "my house looks like we resurrected a mammoth and let him roam around in here... Cool"

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