5 Year Olds Are Jerks

I’ve come to realize that my beautiful, precious, little girl is a jerk. She doesn’t have that “shut up” filter that we as adults possess. While this may seem cute to others I’m not so keen on hearing the truth from the mouth of a child. “Mommy you’re getting fat” aww why thank you, you little brat. That’s exactly what I needed to hear as I stuff my face with some Ikea dark chocolate. “You need to vacuum more” well maybe if you didn’t pour your toys and crap all over the floor I wouldn’t have to vacuum as much. “I don’t want what you’re cooking” do you ever? I mean ever? Unless it’s good old KD I know we’re going to fight about food, so just shut it and eat what I put on your plate. Most people would keep their traps shut in instances like these, but not a 5 year old.